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sometimes we need a beginning more than an ending
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[18 Apr 2006|09:47pm] |
MY SPACE
www.myspace.com/blazeabago
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[27 Nov 2005|06:26pm] |
Maria Castelli
September 11, 2005
First rough draft
It was three o’clock in the morning, but the old woman could not fall back to sleep. She had been awoken by dreams of her past eating away at her heart. No longer could she lie in her bed to think. She rustled through her nightstand, grabbed something, and walked out into her living room.
“This is a love story,” the old woman said, sitting down as if today was her show and tell day in pre-school.
She placed herself in front of the fire and took out a tattered book, falling apart at the seams. She opened to the first page and read what she had written nearly sixty years ago.
Don’t forget your last step.
Sometimes, you are forced to go back.
The words stung her heart, and she closed her eyes. That was the first time, she remembered. It was one of the many times she had to start over. She read it, again. It echoed through her mind.
She returned to her seventeenth year; the exact day, the exact clothes she was wearing, the exact words that were spoken, the exact feeling in her stomach. With her eyes still closed, she heard the stream flowing under the bridge, and she smelled the heat coming off the blacktop. It was the first day she met the guy who changed her dreams. It was the day she met her echo.
Days passed and changed into weeks. She saw him periodically but never for long. So, she gave up and focused on other things, anything to take her mind off of him. He kept returning, though, and she could not help wanting to be with him.
He reminded her of the mountains, and looking back, she realized this was the reason she was drawn to him. He was her freedom and that is what he gave her. Together, they saw every part of their town they could, and they promised each other they would see the world with each other. They explored the hills, went canoeing, and found places eyes could never dream. They spent the winter together riding down the snow-covered mountains and feeling the cold pierce their throats. He was always faster than she, but he always waited for her.
She took a deep breath and turned the page. It brought tears to her eyes, but she quickly brushed them away.
“He wasn’t real,” she quietly said to herself.
Suddenly, a chill came underneath the door and swept across her feet, sending shivers throughout her whole body. She placed a blanket next to the door to keep out the draft and sat back down in her big, comfortable chair near the fire.
Once more, she opened the book.
You are your greatest lie ever told,
and I can’t help but believe it.
She remembered why they ended, now. Once more, she picked up the worn book in her lap. Then, she tossed it on top of the burning logs and returned to her bed.
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| keep on dancin' through 'til daylight |
[25 Sep 2005|01:10pm] |
i haven't been here in so long, i have no idea where to start.
well, i just broke up with my soulmate. the one who told me that "you are my one & only". the who i have spent the last year and a half of my life with. the one who laid down next to me for the past four months and told me that he loved me. the boy who changed my life, but he also ruined me. it will take me a very long time to ever trust a person, again.
i found about two weeks ago that he had been cheating on me for the past 6 months with four/five different people. all of whom were my very good friends.
i cried for so long that night because i just felt like i lost my the right half of my heart. he was my world. i paid for his rent this past month. i had boughten him cigarrettes for the past two months. i made his lunch every night before work when he got his job. i bought him breakfast every day for three weeks straight.
"we're going to have a log cabin up in vermont only 10 minutes away from my house."
i still want his family to be mine. they are fucking amazing.
his mom told me i was the best thing that ever happened to him. he was the happiest she has ever seen him with me.
he cheats on me and still lays down every night next to me and tells ME that he loves me. i didnt say it forever because i couldn't. i just couldn't. & then, in march, i did. i loved him with every piece of me. i was going to school so we could have a wrangle with 35" mud tires and a three inch lift kit. i was living because he was there.
& he fucking slapped me in the face with it.
NOW other than that.
-i got the house. AHA.
-there's this boy at school. MMMHHHMMM
-I NEED TO GET LAID!!!!-
-school is good.
-my color theory class is sweet
-i could probably take a photo class next semester.
-KELLER WILLIAMS, OCTOBER 14th, NEW YORK, NY.
PEACE,LOVE&MUSIC
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| wow. |
[19 Sep 2005|05:50pm] |
no more boyfriend. fucking scorpio, stupid liar.
keystone college freshman.
associate's in fine arts.
<3
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| when the world ends, we'll be burnin' one |
[07 Feb 2005|05:39am] |
the mountains rest on your shoulders
& a constant melody accompanies
your presence.
you are your greatest lie
ever told & i can't
help but believe in it.
///
and if perhaps we meet on a
cloud sometime -- i'll paint how
the world should be.
and show you how reality is just
one ingredient.
///
ferbruary usually goes too fast;
not this year.
& i think you forget how well
i can lie.
one more time around;
one more kiss and one
more trip.
one more feeling i'll never forget.
every detail of your fingerprint
collided with my spine and
in that moment, we were the
world.
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[02 Nov 2004|09:58pm] |
i think i am done, here.
lastchancefear@netscape.net
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[05 Oct 2004|04:20pm] |
keller williams
11/05/04
the staircase - pittston, pa.
YAH, i got my tickets MOFOS.
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[30 Sep 2004|09:24pm] |
loren isn't with sam anymore.
SEE MY SMILE.
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[27 Aug 2004|10:53pm] |
not seeing you sucks.
seeing you sucks.
skhkafhnkdfgk.
FUCK.
& after 4 weeks, i got to feel your lip ring, again.
you suck.
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[30 Jul 2004|03:46pm] |
i haven't seen him in 8 days.
i miss him.
yah, i miss him.
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[20 Jul 2004|09:24pm] |
i could drink a case of you
& still be on my feet.
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[12 Jul 2004|11:45pm] |
sunlight poured through our hidden tent
& as the sweat dripped down your back,
i watched your eyes close.
your eyes were like beautiful demons
& when i asked what you were doing,
you said, "just memorizing some things."
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[05 Jul 2004|11:06pm] |
we became lost in now
& watched tomorrow slip away.
maria met a boy.
his name is loren.
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[23 May 2004|04:54pm] |
I. suede blacktop and blizzards
of dandelions line our mornings;
our only option lies beneath
or forgotten evening
II. tornadoes of melodies sing us
to sleep. the remainder of what
we had is given away. rejection
follows your every movement
> > > the beauty of a hurricane
> > > on each tip of your
> > > finger.
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[26 Apr 2004|08:43pm] |
3rd person
maria broke up with brian on easter.
maria had an awesome 4/20.
maria IS GOING TO PROM WITH TIM :) on friday & found out today.
maria is lazy & hasn't updated in a while.
maria skips school alot.
maria is sober today. congratulate her.
maria says you should really go to melded's site:
www.melded.webzon.net
& look at set 2 pictures because she took them except the first one.
& also because they have a new demo.
it is 5 dollars & i could get you one.
BECAUSE ITS GOOD. REALLLL GOOOD.
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[16 Feb 2004|02:12pm] |
all in all the clock is slow
six color pictures all in a row
of a marigold.
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[16 Jan 2004|03:22pm] |
we had school off YESTERDAY & TODAY.
FUCK, i love the snow.
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| who needs a cut? |
[11 Jan 2004|11:18pm] |
my brother got my sister a digital camera for christmas.
i amg oing to steal it & use a trillion times.
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[06 Jan 2004|11:08pm] |
i broke my muffler.
my parents hate me for having friends
who live on country roads.
fuck it.
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[01 Jan 2004|10:04pm] |
the other night; sarah, brian, me, dom, eric & theresa sat at the greenfield baseball field at looked at the stars. i forgot how amazing that was. we were in the country & the sky was so clear. then; dom, sarah, brian & i walked to an old abandoned nursing home & explored. it was such a beautiful night.
i hate watching things come to an end.
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